So my first ‘real’ boyfriend was when I was 16, we stayed together for five years. When we started out he decided that our relationship was going to be a secret. I wasn’t allowed to tell my friends or my family that we were dating. My friends ended up getting mad at me because I never went out with them anymore and they didn’t know why. I lost quite a few friends when I started dating him. He never wanted to go out anywhere, whenever we hung out, it would be us hanging out in my basement watching tv. He wasn’t much of a conversationalist either, everything was very silent.
When he needed to get my attention he would grab my arm, hard enough to give me bruises. My teachers started to notice the marks and they asked me about it. My art teacher even put his hand over the bruises to show me how obvious it was that it was a handprint. All I could say was I don’t know how they got there. I kept telling myself that he was just a big guy and doesn’t know his own strength. Or that I just bruise really easily. But there was one night where he actually said to me “I should probably stop leaving marks on you, people are starting to notice.” I never had any bruises after that. I eventually told my friends and family that I had a boyfriend. I noticed once people knew about us he started to be nicer and actually wanted to go out on dates.
He ended up moving to Minnesota and then to Ottawa. We were long distance for a year and a half. He would phone me and expect me to stay on the line with him even if I was out with friends. Whenever I called him he either didn’t answer or told me to stop being so needy. We started to fight a lot. I got really depressed with him gone.
At work there was one guy that was a really good friend. I ended up falling back into my bad habit of trying to get the man that I can’t have. He was a couple years older than me and married with a 2 year old boy. It didn’t take too long before he was inviting me to go to the drive in theatre. We got wasted and had sex in the back of his van. I ended up in an affair with him for 2 months. He confessed to marrying his wife only because she was pregnant.
I went to Minnesota to visit ‘boyfriend A’ and ‘boyfriend B’ (with the wife) wouldn’t stop texting me the whole time. He called me while boyfriend A was in the shower so I answered it. Boyfriend B said “Guess what! I left my wife, now we can be together.” He then said something along the lines of ‘I can see you raising my son’. So I told him I was in Minnesota with my other boyfriend and I wasn’t planning on breaking it off. I told him to go back to his wife. And I quit my job.
Well, my boyfriend told me he was moving to Ottawa (and not back to Winnipeg) ‘for me’. So when I got fed up with long-distance I decided to move to Ottawa to be with him. He was happy at first. But then after I started talking to his friends I found out he started smoking pot, was failing out of college, and was cheating on me with some hooch. So obviously I blew up at him, he got very defensive and said I was crazy. He broke up with me one week before I was supposed to move there and told me not to come. I was already enrolled in college and had a roommate waiting for me, I couldn’t just not go. So I went anyway.
As soon as I got there he was being all lovey-dovey with me, I assumed we were back together. About a month later I was talking to a friend of his and said ‘my boyfriend’. All he said was “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” It turns out he was still seeing that hooch. I did my snooping and I found a hidden folder of pictures on his computer, all of her in his bed. I confronted him and he yelled at me for not trusting him and for snooping around. He told me straight up that he was not going to stop seeing her and if I didn’t like it I could go back to Winnipeg. After that I wasn’t allowed to talk to his friends, and I was uninvited to everything they invited me to. He told me that I couldn’t go to any parties unless I got drunk or high.
After about a year of not getting any real kind of attention from him, I started to look for it elsewhere. We both worked at the same place and did the same shift. I ended up sleeping with two of our co-workers, and having phone sex with a third. All of which treated me like I was only good for one thing. There was one girl I worked with that I told what was going on. I told her about all the guys I was seeing except for one. That was because one of the guys I was sleeping with was her boyfriend.
The arguments never stopped between my boyfriend & I. I even found out that after 4 years of dating, he never told his family about me. No one knew he had a girlfriend. He told me that his family wanted him to date a black girl (to protect their heritage) so because I am white I could never meet his family and they wouldn’t like me anyway.
So after four and a half years of being treated like garbage, and living for two years almost completely alone in Ottawa, I decided to move back to Winnipeg. I told him I was leaving for the summer, but I knew I wouldn’t be coming back. We broke up a few months later.
0 comments:
Post a Comment